Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, which means most people will be thinking about their sweetheart and/or other loved ones in their lives and how they can express their love to them. Cards, chocolate, flowers and other gifts of love and appreciation will be shared to acknowledge those we love. Who will you be remembering this year on February 14th with a token of your affection? 

Your spouse or significant other? 

Your kids, parents, and siblings? 

Friends and coworkers? 

Neighbors? 

Your dog or cat? 

This year, I’d like to invite you to also take this opportunity to honor another really important person in your life, who is most likely the last person on your list to whom you show affection, support and love. This person undoubtedly gets overlooked, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day of the year, year after year. And maybe it’s even worse than just overlooked. You might actually be unkind to this person.

Instead of showering them with love, you shower them with criticism and expectations that are always too high for them to reach. It’s so easy to find their faults and point them out. Oh, you might not speak any of this aloud, but most surely, it goes on inside your head. This person isn’t always nurtured or nourished properly, and is almost never encouraged or cheered on. And forget about it if, God forbid, they make a mistake.

I’m sure you have probably guessed who I’m talking about…

…yes, YOU! 

And what I want to talk to you about is self-love. Not just on Valentine's Day, but every day.

We’ve all heard about the importance of self-love, but most of us don’t make a conscious effort to engage in it, let alone notice when we’re doing the opposite. You might agree to love yourself, but only after you’ve given everyone else in your family what they need, or after you've gotten everything else done that is really important (more important is what you are actually saying to yourself). 

You might feel that loving yourself is self-indulgent or even narcissistic. Perhaps deep down you don’t feel like you deserve it; but the truth is, without loving ourselves, we are actually holding back love from others and limiting what we have to offer the world. 

It is vital to realize and accept that we matter. We matter enough to take time for ourselves, to treat ourselves with the utmost care and respect, and to know deeply and unequivocally that we are worthy of love—worthy of our own love. As we learn to do this, we open the doors to unexplored potential for our growth. It enables us to show up in the world with more confidence, free spiritedness, and vitality. It ignites our creativity and ingenuity. And what is really amazing, is that truly loving ourselves unconditionally opens the floodgates for love that we can give to others.

Self-Love, A Gift to Yourself

Once you have made the decision to turn the train around and head towards greater love for yourself, there are lots of ways to practice by speaking words of affirmation to yourself and nourishing your body, mind and spirit. Choose a few from these lists or come up with some of your own, and make a conscious effort to show yourself some love every day. 

Whenever you notice that you’re beginning to take a detour into negative self-talk or self-destructive behavior, immediately get back on track by literally saying, “Cancel.” Follow that with a statement of affirmation about yourself, and then as soon as possible, get back to engaging in some of the self-love activities from the list. As you move along in your quest for self-love, be intentional of letting go of all that is unlike it. 

Speak positive words of affirmation to yourself:

• I am enough.
• I am worthy of love.
• I am an innocent child of the Universe/Spirit/God.
• I am doing the best that I can.
• I am a unique gift to the world.
• I accept myself just the way I am.
• I am at peace with myself.
• Each step of my life has brought me to exactly where I need to be in this moment.
• My body is beautiful.
• I deserve to be happy and abundant.
• I love myself.

Nourish your body, mind, and spirit:

• Take time to relax and rest.
• Provide healthy, living food and clean water for your body.
• Take time to quiet your mind.
• Move your body every day.
• Stretch.
• Spend time doing activities and hobbies that feed your soul.
• Take a hot bath.
• Get a massage, a facial or a pedicure.
• Take time to thank yourself everyday for all that you do.
• Make a list of reasons to be proud of yourself.
• Surround yourself with people who love and accept you just the way you are.
• Read a book just for fun.
• Learn something new
• Be patient with yourself.
• Be mindful and intentional with your time.
• Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you.”
• Set up healthy boundaries for yourself and learn to say, “No,” when necessary.

Choose to let go of:

• Negative self-talk and judgements about yourself.
• Comparing yourself to others (or your younger self).
• Relationships and situations that are unhealthy for you.
• Needing to be perfect or appear that you have it all together.
• Unhealthy habits that serve as an escape (addictions, mindless screen activities, etc.). 
• Fear of not being good enough.
• Shame from any mistakes you feel you have made in the past.
• Fear of making mistakes in the future.
• Regrets from the past
• Worries about the future.

A Gift to Yourself is a Gift to the World

Loving yourself unconditionally is one of the best ways that you can show up in the world and share what you have to offer. And, you do have something important to offer. There’s no mistake that you are here, exactly where you are in this moment. You have important missions to accomplish. Why not equip yourself with the most powerful substance in the universe--LOVE. Happy Valentine’s Day!

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, 

deserve your love and affection.

~ Buddha