The Key to Freedom

Nancy Rae

July 6, 2021

Over the weekend, from sea to shining sea, families and friends gathered to celebrate the Fourth of July. People joined together for parades, pool parties, cookouts, and other festivities, as star-spangled banners waved in the wind. In parts of the country where forest fires don’t threaten tinderbox towns, fireworks lit up the sky with explosions of mesmerizing colors and booms, bangs, cracks, and whistles. Indeed, this holiday commemorates our country’s freedom.

While the word “freedom,” connected to the Fourth of July, connotes something we fight for or liberation granted to us by someone outside of ourselves, I’d like to direct your attention inward to your own heart and mind. Is freedom there, too? Do you feel blissfully free and completely at peace, no matter what you have faced in life or what you may be going through now? Does freedom permeate every aspect of your being, or are there facets of your heart and mind where freedom doesn’t ring? Are there places in your heart that have been hurt and now harbor criticism and resentment? Have you ever been aggrieved, betrayed, or harmed by someone, and now pain and anger towards the offending party find refuge within the corners of your mind? Have you ever felt like you wanted to punish others for what they have done to you? These feelings are not uncommon, but they actually become shackles that hold us back from experiencing true joy and harmony in our lives.

I invite you to pause your attention on those tender, wounded places for a bit and follow me along a path toward absolute freedom.

Forgiveness

I ask you to gently look at the situations where you’ve been upset or mistreated and work on some healing through forgiveness. This work may seem unnecessary, you may at first feel unwilling to do it, or you may even feel it will be challenging and scary work, but I promise you that the liberation you will achieve is worth it.

I know that forgiveness is not a new word to you. Most people who have grown up with any religious or spiritual teachings have learned about forgiveness and have practiced it, too. But let’s take a moment to clarify what forgiveness is and what it is not.

Forgiveness does not mean:

• we condone bad behavior, or we must trust someone who has mistreated us.

• the harm that another person caused was okay or right.

• the other person is “off the hook,” or that they don’t face consequences or justice.

• we are giving up our rights.

Forgiveness does mean:

• we release our negative judgments.

• we sever the negative energetic connections to others.

• we can let go of anger and resentment, past pain and trauma.

• it allows us to move forward in life with greater ease, more vibrant health and well-being.

Unforgiveness

Notice how you might pick and choose who to forgive in your life. You might forgive most people, but not that person. It isn’t surprising that we may feel like a person who has hurt us doesn’t deserve our forgiveness. Maybe they haven’t apologized, or their transgression is so severe that we think we want to punish them by not forgiving them. But honestly, when we hold onto grievances and hold back forgiveness, we are only harming ourselves. It imprisons us and holds us hostage to the other person’s actions. It produces bitterness, anger, and hatred within us. These blemishes in our hearts and minds fester and grow and stand in our way of a life of true freedom, peace, and even health. Louise Hay, the late metaphysical teacher and author, said in her book Heal Your Body, “The mental thought patterns that cause the most dis-ease in the body are CRITICISM, ANGER, RESENTMENT and GUILT.”

Forgiveness is the Key to Freedom

So how do we forgive? In every situation, we first have to choose to forgive. It is a choice we make, not a feeling that we have. You might start with the “easy ones”—the person who cut in line in front of you in the grocery store or the family member who left dirty dishes in the sink. But if you are to feel completely free and healed, you must allow your non-judgmental acceptance to embrace all people—yes, EVERYONE.

It helps to remember that everyone makes mistakes. We can understand that people don’t hurt others if they are living from a place of love inside themselves. If love is not present, then fear, hate, guilt, shame, and pain must be there instead. See if you can look beyond their words and actions to the suffering they must be feeling inside to come to a place of allowing forgiveness. In biblical text, during the crucifixion, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) This divine Wisdom is a powerful way to initiate forgiveness, especially with significant wrongdoing. Sometimes it helps to see them as little children, trying to get their needs met in the only way that makes sense to them at the time. Let your heart go out to them. Let go of your own negative judgments about them and simply forgive. Practice this with everyone, and then look in the mirror and practice on yourself. Forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes is crucial, too. Let go of guilt and regret, and you also take the chains of imprisonment off yourself.

The act of forgiveness is a tremendous gift to yourself. It relieves you of the burden of victimhood you’ve been carrying. It resurrects your peace of mind. It is the key to freedom.

“It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt,

as it is certain that those who forgive will find peace.”

~ A Course in Miracles