Lesson Learned From

a Gun at My Head

Nancy Rae

May 4, 2021

I want to tell you a story of something that happened to me in my late 20’s that forever changed me and how I live my life. 

A few weeks after I got married, I met a good friend out for the evening. We sat at the neighborhood bar and grill, where my husband bartended on the weekends. It was a fun way to hang out with my friend but also see my new husband as he waited on us with food and drinks. When we decided to depart, my friend and I walked out to the parking lot together, said goodbye, and we each drove our separate ways home. It was late in the evening, and my husband wasn’t going to be off work for another hour or two.

Our brownstone apartment building was just a few miles away. As I turned onto our street nearing our apartment, I noticed headlights in my rearview mirror. Immediately, a little voice inside my head told me that I was being followed and suggested that I pass by our apartment building and drive around the block. But right after I heard that gentle voice of warning, I heard a much louder voice, “You are being paranoid, and obviously, the people in the car behind you are just going home to their apartment on this street.” I decided to brush away the idea that I was being followed and listen to the louder voice. I pulled to the side of the street in front of our building and put the car in park. That’s when I knew I was in really big trouble.

The car that had been driving behind me pulled up so close that I couldn’t open my door. With my heart pounding nearly out of my chest, I rolled down my window partway. There were two men in the car, with sinister grins on their faces. I looked at the man in the passenger seat and fearfully asked what they wanted. That’s when he pointed a large handgun at me, inches from my forehead, and asked for my purse.

If you’ve ever been in a dire situation such as this, you know that adrenaline takes over, and your body simply responds without consciously thinking about it. This scenario was no different. My immediate reaction was to get out of the line of the discharged bullet, should he pull the trigger, so I leaned down in the seat as far as I could. Then I started frantically honking the horn, hoping to alert some neighbors. Incidentally, it didn’t even occur to me to give him my purse. Apparently worried that they may get caught, they pulled forward slowly and then drove down the street. I was able to back up, turn my car around, and head back to the bar and grill to the safety of my husband. We then went to the police station together to report the incident. Unfortunately, they were not able to catch the perpetrators, but that situation taught me such a valuable lesson. 

My true inner wisdom absolutely knew what would happen that night—I just hadn’t learned to identify its voice or trust it yet. From that point forward, I practiced tuning in as astutely as possible to that unfailing intuition within myself. It's always there within all of us; we just have to learn to discern it.

Recognizing the Voice of Your Inner Wisdom

So how do you know how to recognize the voice of your intuition, your inner wisdom? Because let’s face it, we usually have two voices in our heads at all times. One is the voice of our ego-mind. It is the voice that wants to be in charge. It is loud, almost always front and center. The ego strives to draw us into drama, keep us in fear, make us feel small and insecure. It uses limiting beliefs that we’ve learned throughout our lives to constantly remind us of our shortcomings and imperfections. It keeps us in judgement of ourselves and others and does everything in its power to keep us separate from our divine nature. It would rather us not realize that we have divine wisdom within us to guide us from one moment to the next. No, its ultimate goal is to silence the voice of our intuition, and instead, garner all of our attention on its insane ramblings to keep us stuck in regrets of the past or fear of the future.

Our voice of inner wisdom, on the other hand, is our True Self. It seeks to help us realize our connection to Divinity and all of life, our perfection, regardless of our perceived flaws. It points us to the unlimited possibilities of peace, love, health, abundance, and joy that are our divine inheritance. The voice of this inner wisdom is calm and reverent. It is a subdued piccolo in a cacophony of noisy trumpets. It is “the still small voice within.” Whereas our ego voice only exists in thoughts of the past or future, our inner voice resides in the present moment. That is precisely why we may not hear it, because, with our ego’s help, it is so easy for us to slip out of present moment awareness. 

Noticing the Difference Between Your Inner Wisdom and Your Ego

I invite you to heighten your awareness of both the voice of your inner wisdom and that of your ego. As you move through your day-to-day activities, be mindful. Especially when you begin to engage in a not-so-healthy choice or habit (worrying, eating junk food, gossiping, judging, etc.), notice if you hear a more positive idea to consider. If you are on auto-pilot, you are sure to miss it because of its subtlety. Also, the ego will immediately try to draw your attention away from it. Once you recognize it, though, it becomes easier and easier to discern. Then you have a decision to make—with your free will—which voice will you listen to? Heads up—your inner voice will never be angry with you for not listening to it. Your ego voice, however, will betray you either way. Let’s look at a simple scenario of how both voices may talk to you regarding food.

Let’s say you’ve been trying to make healthier food choices, so you’ve got salad fixin's in the fridge to make a big salad for the week, as well as some broccoli and cauliflower that just needs to be washed and cut up to be roasted or steamed. But it’s getting close to dinner time, and you’re really hungry. You look at the veggies in the fridge but then consider hopping off the wagon just for the night and ordering pizza. Here’s the conversation that will likely ensue.

      Inner wisdom voice: You’ve already got all those good vegetables, and it really won’t take that 

        much time to make a yummy salad and some steamed veggies. You’ll feel really nourished. 

      Ego voice: You’re so hungry, just order pizza. You can have the salad

     later this week. Plus, the pizza will be warm and more filling. You

     deserve it! It’s just a phone call away. Quick and easy.

You decide to order pizza because, after all, it will be quick, easy, and perhaps more satisfying. Thirty minutes later (by the way, probably more time than it would have taken to actually make the salad and steam the vegetables), you’re back home with your pizza with extra cheese, and you eat. As soon as you finish eating, and with a bit of indigestion, your ego voice pipes up again.

      Ego voice: You have absolutely NO willpower! How will you ever be

     healthy? You’ve ruined your healthy eating streak, and now you

     don’t even feel good. 

      Inner wisdom voice: (Silent with unconditional love for you, it patiently waits, knowing you’ll listen

        when you’re ready.)

Does this sound at all familiar? This scenario applies to just about any situation. How many times have you sensed that you should or shouldn’t do something, but you override that sensation? When this happens, it’s merely your ego that has stealthily interrupted your connection to your own inner wisdom and hijacked your decision. When you move through life in a mindful way, you can take the time to assess if what you are doing is coming from a place of love (inner wisdom) or a place of fear (ego). That is the key. 

Trusting Your Inner Wisdom

The more attuned you are to listening to the voice of your inner wisdom and following its guidance, the more you will realize it will never steer you wrong. Learn to trust it. It will never disappoint, berate, or belittle you. It will keep you healthy and safe. It will keep you aligned with your life’s true purpose. Your ego voice will still try to run the show, but with practice, you will be able to quickly dismiss its enticements. When it does occasionally trip you up, let it simply be a reminder to slow down and be more mindful and purposeful in what you are choosing each and every moment. With your inner wisdom in the driver’s seat, you will joyfully move through life with strength, grace, and ease. 

“Practice listening to your intuition, your inner voice; ask questions; 

be curious; see what you see; hear what you hear; and then act 

upon what you know to be true. These intuitive powers 

were given to your soul at birth.” 

~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Helping people use their inner wisdom to make positive shifts in their lives is what

Nancy Rae Coaching is all about. What is your inner wisdom telling you?

Struggling to figure it out?

Please contact me for a free introductory session to see how I may be of service.